A Chapter of My Life… and the Sea 🌊

I can vividly recall how I felt that day: pure joy, happiness, fullness, and peace… haha! I walked out of the ocean completely buzzed by the cold water. I’ve become a happy loner—comfortable with my own presence and my thoughts. That day—like so many others—I swam alone, feeling the winter sea’s cold embrace, a sea that always welcomed me.

That moment felt like a personal victory. Some people call me “weird and creazy” for waking up at 5:00 am just to dive into the ocean.

Why am I sharing this photo with you? Because it represents a chapter that already passed—a stage where I wasn't fully aware of my own vulnerability. It’s an image that holds hope in the midst of confusion, taken during a time when the world seemed to be moving in the opposite direction from who I was becoming. I was preparing for surgery, trying to build new friendships, and prioritizing my physical and emotional health.

I took this photo sometime in October or November of 2021. I would wake up at 5:00 am, hop in the car, and drive about 20 minutes from San Antonio de las Minas to Hotel Coral in El Sauzal. Sometimes I'd put on my wetsuit at home—the first time I ever used one—and it still makes me laugh how scared I was of not wearing anything underneath! With my backpack on my shoulder, I’d walk to my CRV and enjoy the drive: so pleasant, so peaceful, like the opening scene of a cheesy romantic movie. 🍿

And maybe it was a movie, because every day I surrendered to the arms of the ocean without resistance.

I know this isn’t written in perfect order. I chose to share this photo because I remember feeling so happy, so hopeful. I’d come out of the water ecstatic, with that kind of extreme joy that only comes after swimming for at least an hour in winter temperatures. I truly loved it.

During that time, I was battling depression. I had chosen to distance myself from friendships and beliefs that had been my safe space for many years. I was questioning everything again—but this time, I jumped into the void. I was thirsty for life. And even though I’m still just as curious, I’m not the same person anymore.

It’s normal—we are always transforming, chapter by chapter. ✨ Today I understand something I didn't before: Life changes. We change. And that’s okay. Sometimes, surrendering is the victory. I took a necessary pause… and I keep taking them. I looked at myself honestly—and yes, it hurt, and it still does. But I discovered the most important thing:

My antidote is to accept, to stay curious, and to choose to enjoy the process. With an open heart… the same heart that once woke up at 5 am to dive into an icy ocean in search of answers. ❄️💙🌊